Well I won't get into the details on why the sales people I work with deserve a special place in hell but believe me they do. I mean, we all have it coming in one way or another anyways right? And besides what those wacky leftist would have you believe "torture can be fun!" So lets all play along shall we? ; )
First off water boarding is out. Despite its quick and effective method of delivering psychological pain and suffering it has one major drawback. It's too quick!! I mean if highly trained CIA operatives can only withstand it for a few minutes it kinda takes all the fun out of it. Besides I don't want to get info, I just want to watch.
So I went with the next best thing. Not yet banned by the UN, thinkgeek.com's Annoy-a-tron was the perfect choice for my mission. However, That is only because the idea of having a device randomly release the scent of french fries has not yet been invented or put available to civillians. Perhaphs I should patent that idea?
So here it is folks...the Annoy-A-Tron! It comes in this quiant little box about the size of a zippo.
Outside the box you can see that it is not very big. I placed a penny next to it for scaling.
sorry if my photography skills are lacking but you get the idea.
There are three setting to this device. Normal annoying beep, Really annoying beep, and a random setting that goes through a range of frequencies. This is the setting I chose because I found it the most annoying. Simply because you cannot mentally prepare or "block out" the sound due to it's random frequency.
I carefully placed the device in close proximity to my unsuspecting sales staff. I won't tell you where in case someone I work with reads this and decides to have pity on the souless asshats.
Anyhoo, I expect it to take about 3 days or up to a full work week for the effect to set in. Stay tuned and I will keep you updated as tender minds are unknowingly driven to the edge. Mwahahahhahah!